Five steps to a purpose-driven, alcohol-free life. #3 is powerful.
I’m an ordained minister who calls herself spiritual, not religious, along with a plurality of other Americans.
Even when I was drinking, I was drawn to spiritual experiences and growth. Despite my very Christian upbringing — or maybe because of it — I was drawn to eclectic approaches to spirituality.
I became a Zen Buddhism practitioner. I loved the discipline, the quiet energy of the Zendo at 5am and the dissolving of labels that intense work with a koan gave me. Life was breathtakingly beautiful as it revealed itself after a silent meditation retreat. I loved the chanting even if I had no idea what the Sanskrit words meant.
I also became enamored with Siddha Yoga. More Sanskrit chanting. More meditation. More learning about Shakti, the power of creativity.
I became an avid yogi. Again with the Sanskrit chanting. Moving my body in the flow of my breath. Practicing contortions while breathing my way through them. Sweating out last night’s drink and this morning’s hangover.
Unfortunately, none of these spiritual pursuits changed the way I lived. I vowed to not drink. And continued to drink myself into hangovers multiple times a week. My spiritual pursuits were in one compartment of my life. And my Life life was in another. Never the twain shall meet.
As an alcohol-free woman, my life IS my spirituality.
I believe each of us is a channel of the Divine. Drinking and being hungover fogged up my channel. My awful behavior while drinking were boulders blocking the flow of Divine energy. And my remorse, anxiety and depression obscured it.
Here are the 5 stages for alcohol-free women to live in spiritual alignment. The acronym is I-I-ASH. Not catchy at all. I agree. Do you have any better ideas??? Post a comment.
1. IDEAL FUTURE SELF
If each of us is a channel of Divine, that flow of energy is expressed in each of us uniquely.
I am the Divine wearing a Kay-suit, and you are the Divine wearing the suit of your personality, talents and physicality.
We get senses of where our true place is in these ways:
- The activities in which you lose consciousness of yourself, time and place. For me, it’s skiing, singing, laughing with my family, speaking on stage, facilitating meetings and generating ideas.
- What you loved when you were a child. As a mom, it’s fascinating to watch where each child is drawn. One of mine was drawn to jigsaw puzzles and creating new contraptions to solve problems. Another loved writing and illustrating stories. And the other loved cars and the Beatles. As young adults, those are the things that still draw their attention and where they experience flow.
- Those dreams you have about your life that are outside of what you “should” do or be.
I encourage you to do this exercise every day for 7 days.
- Block off 15 minutes. Turn off your devices. Put a journal nearby with a pen.
- Close your eyes and breathe deeply three times.
- Ask your Higher Self what calls you.
- For 1–2 minutes, notice the images that reveal themselves. Don’t push anything away.
- Write down stream of consciousness every idea and image that occurred to you. Without editing.
- Do this again 6 more times.
- Repeat every day for 7 days.
You will start to notice themes. If something seems superficial, ask yourself why you care about it.
By the end of 7 days you will have a bit clearer sense of what brings you fully into the Divine Flow. What your calling is. Your purpose here in this lifetime.
2. INTENTION
Intention is what cuts through the seduction of distraction.
Setting a clear intention for my day, week, month that is in line with my Ideal Future Self is my way of deliberately putting blinders on.
Clear intentions cut through the dross of distractibility that I entertain myself with endlessly.
I set intention by:
- Reviewing my Ideal Future Self
- Writing down three areas that I have made progress in
- Setting down what progress I want to make towards my Ideal Future Self in a year. Then in 3 months. 1 month. Tomorrow. Today.
Then every time my thoughts drift elsewhere or I see something sparkly outside of that intention, I gently bring my attention back to what’s important to me.
3. ALLOWING
Creator, Goddess, Source is not a magic, invisible ghost that is hiding from you. You do NOT have to seek Source because you are a channel of the Divine. It’s not exclusively somewhere outside of you.
Instead of controlling and driving towards our ideal selves, you can experiment with simply allowing life to unfold.
A friend had a sign above his desk that said, “It will not happen that way.” And despite goal setting and pushing really hard, life does NOT go the way we believe it should.
Allowing is not passively accepting what comes. Instead, it is a recognition that some divine, loving intelligence is at work in your life, weaving experiences and people into the tapestry of your life for your highest self to be revealed.
This does NOT imply not taking action. It implies asking the Universe for guidance, taking action and seeing what unfolds.
4. SURRENDER. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. AND PAINFUL.
I was in a power struggle with my former mother-in-law for first place in my then-husband’s affection. And I was losing. Over and over again.
When I decided to leave him, I simply left the playing field and declared victory.
The resisting and fighting what WAS was hugely painful. I felt rejected over and over again. It was easier to admit the truth (his mom came first) and move on than to continue. I surrendered to the truth.
My belief that I am not enough is another painful mental game I’ve played. If I let go of it (surrender it), I’m free of it.
What old patterns no longer serve you?
Both of those old patterns served me on some level for some time.
But no longer.
The pain of leaving them behind was clean pain. Short-term. With an expiration date.
What are you willing to surrender that keeps your life small and cuts you off from your Higher Self?
5. HUMILITY
I’m very humble, in fact, I’m great at it. ;)
It’s hard to teach about humility without laughing at myself.
But getting full of my (lower-case “s”) self cuts me off from my Higher Self. I am a channel of Divine Flow, not the source of it.
I’m only teaching you what I have been taught and what I’ve learned from the “fucking growth opportunities” that came to me.
As you grow in your spiritual alignment, people will be drawn to you. They will ask for guidance, direction and wisdom.
The only way we get to stay in our Higher Selves is through the practice of humility.
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If you identify with my story, congratulations! You probably have a drinking problem. Experiment with being AF for a week. Sign up for my FREE 7-Day Stop the Spiral Challenge.
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