7 Ways to Survive a Holiday Party AF
Nothing inspires more dread in an alcohol-free person than the specter of a holiday party where other people are drinking. There’s punch, wine, glögg.
“What would you like to drink?,” are the 6 scariest words you can say to someone newly AF.
This is my 22nd holiday season alcohol free.
Here are 7 ways I stay sober at holiday gatherings.
- I drive myself
And I don’t let myself get parked in.
This way, I can get out of Dodge when I feel too awkward or uncomfortable. Even knowing that I have a means of retreat increases my comfort level.
And even if you don’t, there’s always Lyft or Uber.
2. I invite a friend who’s also AF
Having a sober buddy with me gives me someone to talk to. Someone to save me when someone offers me a glass of champagne. Someone to laugh with about how uncomfortable I feel.
3. I bookend the event with calls to other AF friends
Before I go into the party, I call asking for some moral support. And I make a commitment to call in 2 hours no matter what is going on. Having a commitment to check in sober in 2 hours makes me accountable to someone else for drinking a sparkling water instead of sparkling wine.
4. I immediately get myself a pretty drink
Specifically, I ask the bartender for sparkling water with a splash of cranberry juice and a wedge of lime served in the prettiest glass they have. It’s colorful, bubbly and looks amazing.
I don’t feel deprived and as long as I have a glass of something in my hand, no-one asks if they can get me a drink.
5. I tell the bartender I’m alcohol free and feeling uncomfortable
They’ll make eye contact with me throughout the night wishing me well. Every time I show up for a refill, they remember what I’m drinking. They’ll be enlisted to be helpful and supportive.
6. I ask people about themselves
Everyone’s favorite subject? Themselves.
I’ve experimented with different opening questions.
- “What’s your favorite holiday tradition?”
- “What’s your favorite holiday memory?”
- “How important to you is the wrapping on the gift?”
Or you could ask the classic David Sedaris question, “When’s the last time you had contact with a monkey?”
Also, a compliment works well. “Oh, I love your necklace.” or its equivalent works wonders.
7. I get mentally prepared to feel awkward.
Everyone does. Even me. And I’m an extrovert.
Feeling awkward is not going to kill me. Or you for that matter.
Breathe. Head to the bathroom. Excuse yourself and call another AF friend.
As a bonus, here’s #8: Be helpful
Carry dirty dishes to the kitchen. Talk up someone’s elderly aunt who is by herself. Carry out the garbage.
Somehow, focusing on being helpful and kind takes the focus off of me and my awkward feeling. I’m adding to the experience not thinking about whether or not I look/sound cool.
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So grab an AF friend. Put on a pretty dress. Take your own wheels.
And have fun.
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